[ He's not going to object to the bro cuddles. Bro needs him and Dave just as much as they need him and Dirk is okay with being there for him. He puts his arms over Bro's arms and squeezes back. Tiniest snuggliest future Hufflepuff right here. ]

I'm gonna make all the friends. It's not fair how everyone's such an asshole to you all the time. You didn't even do anything.