the The Sorting Hat's a Liar meme!

[heirial]

The Sorting Hat is wise, but it isn't infallible. What if it had chosen differently?

Post your characters and which houses they are in for the purposes of this meme (don't just drop them in a random house that makes no sense, but as long as it's something you can make an argument for, go wild).

Respond to other people's threads. Responding characters can be in a new house of their own or the same house, and you don't even have to be consistent about this from thread to thread.

Have fun!

Comments

Dirk Strider | Hufflepuff.........

[fracturedsoul]

Alvis Hamilton | Hufflepuff

[keytoexile]

[Oh......... it was another of those weird puppets that kept showing up in the dorm. She isn't sure whether to step around it or kick it out of the way, and settles for crouching down and finding out whether it squeaks.]

[fracturedsoul]

[ Oh, yeah, it squeaks. It's... kind of unsettling. But isn't it nice and soft and plushy, Alvis? Don't you just... want to hug it? ]

[keytoexile]

[Not really... okay, maybe a little, but she doesn't. She picks it up and starts turning it around to look at it better. Why in the world is it shaped like this? It's almost cute, in a really really ugly way.]

[fracturedsoul]

[ And here is Dirk swooping in. ]

I see you're interested in my smuppets.

[keytoexile]

[Alvis squeaks and drops the weird puppet, taking a couple steps back. Or she would, if she was standing. Instead she falls on her butt.]

[fracturedsoul]

[ He tilts his head. He's a liiiittle bit more open and friendly than he is in game-canon, having spent five years surrounded by the goodwill and general cheer of Hufflepuff. Just a bit, though. ] Hey, I don't bite. I'm a prefect, we're not allowed to hurt first years.

[keytoexile]

[That's kind of reassuring but does it mean they can hurt the older students?... no, probably not. Alvis stands back up and, after a moment, picks up the weird puppet and holds it out to Dirk.]

[fracturedsoul]

[ He doesn't take it. ] You can keep it. I'm practically drowning in the things, and I can always make more.

Jake English | Also in hufflepuff

[goodboybestshot]

[Oh hey, he spots you in the common room. They've probably been buddies since their first year, what with being in the same house. He'll leap over the back of the couch to slide into a seat next to him]

Salutations, Strider.

Huffle-chans

[fracturedsoul]

[ Dirk is just sitting here getting some homework done. Studious as fuck for a Hufflepuff. He looks up and glances over to Jake when he slides in next to him. Always has time for his best bro no matter how busy he is and a l s o he has not gotten into dark majyyks thanks to the happy friendly influence of Hufflepuff ]

Sup.

[goodboybestshot]

[Yay happy friendly influences! Jake shamelessly leans against him to look at what he's writing.]

Nothing much. Tad restless, if I'm to be honest. What about you?

[fracturedsoul]

[ Dirk is okay with the leaning. He just smiles and taps the parchment with his quill. ] Working on that essay for Potions. Ugh, why do we have to write essays in Potions? You done it yet?

[goodboybestshot]

[Oh... he takes a second to try and recall what he's talking about. Oh.]

Drat! No, I completely forgot. Blast it all to heck!

[fracturedsoul]

[ Of course. Luckily Dirk is getting an early start; partly because he knew it would completely slip Jake's mind. He reaches up to ruffle Jake's hair. ]

Three feet six inches, Jake. Get started on it soon.

[goodboybestshot]

[Jake will just whine into your shoulder then.]

That's rubbish. Why do you need to write reports on stirring around things in a cauldron.

[fracturedsoul]

Because Professor Whoever-The-Fuck-Teaches-Potions said so and we'll flunk if we don't do it.

[ Whiniest boyfriend. Why does Dirk love you. ]

SlytherBro Stryther

[puppetpocalypse]

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the need to have housecolors in which you replicate a giant bumblebee.

[It is way too early in the morning to be assaulted by the bright colors of all the houses.] Shit. It's storming and we got a match today. Why am I the coach again?

[fracturedsoul]

You're just jealous Hivelepuff is the best house. See if I share any of our delicious puked-up honey with you. [ Still just as awful as Slytherdirk, sadly. ]

Because you wanted to enhance young minds and help them reach the skies or some stereotypical flying coach shit? I don't know.

[puppetpocalypse]

God, no. If you puked it up, I don't want any of that crap. Shit, your kink may not be my kink.

[Bluh. Just gonna...drop his weight on you. Yep.] Of course. I love the sounds of children screaming at their brooms. I forget.

[fracturedsoul]

[ And he will just put up with this because Huffledirk is hella cuddly and not ashamed of it. Even if he does make a show of slumping down and faceplanting into the Hufflepuff table like he's been oh-so-put-upon. ]

Kind of too late for that. Where do you think the kitchen gets all its honey from? Hint: We don't have bedrooms. Just little beehive cells we crawl into every night.

Music to my ears too, Bro.

[puppetpocalypse]

So you guys are like bee badger creations. Nice to know.

[He's just leaning on Dirk like it's totally normal. He's too tired to not want physical contact but to awake to not cuddle.]

What isn't music is the shrieking. Seriously.

[fracturedsoul]

[ He could push Bro off. But he thinks this is hilarious. So he will just stay flopped here like it ain't a thing. ]

Buzz buzz.

So silence them. Get 'em started on their nonverbals early. They'll thank you later.

[puppetpocalypse]

I'd get in trouble for that. Just because I was always trying to be better, doesn't mean I should be shoving my impossibly high expectations on others or something.

[Half asleep nuzzling anyways. Bro has been a little better at the whole being affectionate thing now that he didn't feel like he had to be some impossible wall to everyone.]

[fracturedsoul]

Welp, guess you gotta suffer then.

[ So in other words, despite getting off to a rocky start this houseswap winds up being the Good Ending. Okay. Dirk just nuzzles back. ]