asscolors | the The Sorting Hat's a Liar meme!

the The Sorting Hat's a Liar meme!

The Sorting Hat is wise, but it isn't infallible. What if it had chosen differently?

Post your characters and which houses they are in for the purposes of this meme (don't just drop them in a random house that makes no sense, but as long as it's something you can make an argument for, go wild).

Respond to other people's threads. Responding characters can be in a new house of their own or the same house, and you don't even have to be consistent about this from thread to thread.

Have fun!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Had he been sorted into any other house, he would have been taken in with open arms.

But being a Slytherin really jaded Bro. He still thought the school was the best thing, but the walls he had to throw up were even taller than before. Bro fought to show why he was Slytherin material.

He soared through his classes. He became one of the best flyers the school had ever saw. He was angry they didn't let them in his first year. He made sure to show that they would have been amazing had they let him in when he blew everyone away in his second year.

Bro was a terrifying force. He could be at par in dueling with even the higher years. Hell, he already could pull off incantations with just the flick of his wand. No words needed. While he was affectionate to only close people and his siblings, he had become a cold-hearted being. People respected him, but out of fear.

It was incredibly lonely.]

[ Living at Hogwarts at the ripe young age of seven is hard. It's hard and nobody understands. It's even harder when the guy raising you is in Slytherin rather than some happy cheerful house like Hufflepuff.

So Dirk's a pretty quiet kid. He can often be found chilling in his bro's dorm room, practicing his puppet-sewing. ]

[Bro slinks back into the dorm room. Even under his shades, you can see a black eye forming and it looks like Bro didn't try to clean himself up too much. He looks tired, tossing his robes off onto the bed before taking a seat next to Dirk.]

Whatcha been up to, kiddo?

[ Oh no. Did Bro get in another fight? This would be Dirk worrying -- although he learned long ago not to let that show on his face. So he just looks up blankly and holds up the smuppet to which he is attaching a nose. ]

I'm finally getting the hang of these things.

[Bro pats his lap. It became a habit to do that when he wanted Dirk to sit in his lap instead of just saying so. Bro had become less talkative the longer school progressed.]

They're looking pretty fly, little man. I knew you could do it.

[ And he scrambles up to his feet and goes to sit with Bro. Dirk might be a little too cuddly. As long as he's sitting in Bro's lap or clinging to him or what have you, there's less chance he's going to up and get into any fights with anyone. ]

Thanks to you, anyway.

[He wraps his arms around Dirk, tightly. It was fairly protective. Bro was always a little worried when he didn't have Dirk by his side, always checking up on the other between classes and whenever he had time.]

Hey. I just told you how to do it. You got better at it on your own.

[ He leans his head back against Bro's shoulder and looks up. Yikes, that eye really doesn't look good at all. ]

Okay. Yeah, fuck being modest, I'm basically the best. [ And dropping f-bombs at his age, too. ]

...You okay, Bro?

[It's not like Bro ever stopped Dirk from using that kind of language.]

Yeah. Assfucks didn't know what was gonna hit them. [At the very least, by the time Dirk got into the school, no one would ever try to call Dirk a mudblood. Not with how Bro was. The guy was fucking defensive and got pretty damn offensive if they tried to pick on him. If it made Dirk's life easier and avoided being called filthy things, than Bro didn't mind as much.

Still. It would be nice to have a few people who actually liked him for who he was and not because he was this untouchable guy.] Guess honor isn't a thing Slytherins believed in. Gotta gang up on a kid to try and knock him down.

I bet you destroyed them. [ Still kind of worried. But if it took a whole gang of them just to rough him up a bit, Bro is basically invincible. From Dirk's vantage, he's this amazing guy who can never be beat. Not by anyone. ] Kicked their asses so hard they better not mess with you again.

[He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy tightly.]

Be nice if they messed with me in a 'hey let's do friend shit together' or whatever. Guess that's too hard to ask.

[Sure, he had enough people who wanted in his pants and then some, but it would be nice to have some long lasting friends.] Don't do what I did through school. Make some friends and be friendly.

[ He's not going to object to the bro cuddles. Bro needs him and Dave just as much as they need him and Dirk is okay with being there for him. He puts his arms over Bro's arms and squeezes back. Tiniest snuggliest future Hufflepuff right here. ]

I'm gonna make all the friends. It's not fair how everyone's such an asshole to you all the time. You didn't even do anything.

[His shoulder shook a little as he just wrapped himself around Dirk.]

'parently existing is a pretty good reason to treat a guy like shit. It's not like 'm not used to it. Had a stunning example of that shit for most of my life. [The words that still stung. They were still clear in his mind. He didn't care for the physical abuse. The emotional turmoil was much harder to deal with. Especially when it came from the very people who should have loved you.

It's a constant reminder that he'll never be like that to his brothers. Never.]

[ Oh man. Is-- Is Bro crying? Dirk's face falls. He doesn't know what to do here. He is seven years old and tiny and not yet cut out for comforting people in their times of need.

But it looks like he's got to anyway. He wriggles out of Bro's grasp just long enough to turn around and hug him properly. Look at this fucking hug, it's basically off the charts on the hug-o-meter. Can't get more huggy than this. ]

[He hugs back tightly. Seven years. This excluding the many years before of constant bullshit being flung at him. He thought he'd lose it after what happened between him and LE...]

Don't let some punkass douchebag break your heart lil bro. Make sure they know you got a big bro who'll fuck their shit sideways so they better be committed and not be an asshole.

Alright? I don't want you losing your shit over the stuff I am.

[ He doesn't get what Bro is going on about all of a sudden, but he just nods. ] Shit, everyone'll be so terrified of you they won't touch me. They'll know better.

[ Except at this point Dirk is positive he wants nothing to do with Slytherin. Any house but that, he doesn't really care which. ]

[He might have let out a pathetic sob.]

Feel like raiding the kitchen with me tonight? Fuck me royally and call me a queen, but I think some major grade A sweets are in order.

Hell fucking yes. I am all over that. Let's gorge ourselves until we puke.

Sounds like a plan, little man.

[He finally lets go, moving to his feet.] Hey, Dirk.

Even if I got a shitty fucking temper or I pull some majorly stupid shit. Or maybe I say some nasty shit that I might not mean. You and Dave are the best things in my life. So don't ever think I don't love you two. [Sometimes he thinks he has said or done something to hurt either of them. He's sure those are just nightmares, but he's got some missing chunks in his memories that he can't always be too sure.]

[ He jumps up and grabs on to Bro's hand when he stands up. And looks up at him. And doesn't answer at first.

It's true that sometimes Bro can be... kind of scary. But that's just natural when you're surrounded by douchebags 24/7 like he is. Dirk's figured that much out. And he's willing to forgive it just because Bro's always been there, and shit was hella worse before. ]

Shut up and let's go give ourselves diabetes.

...

I love you too.

[He pulls his hand out of Dirk's but kneels down so Dirk can get onto his back. He's giving you 5 star treatment tonight.

He knows he's yelled at the other a few times. It always made him feel like the shittiest brother. He ends up babbling apologies and hugging the kid like the other might suddenly hate him.]

There's so much fucking love right now, I'm surprised the Slytherins hadn't all spontaneously combusted. I swear, they don't know what love if it jizzed on-oh shit, I shouldn't be saying those kind of metaphors to you.

If it jizzed on their faces in some kind of reverse circlejerk bukkake waterfall. [ TOO LATE. He's a lost cause.

Dirk climbs up on Bro's back and wraps his arms around his neck. And kind of nuzzles right there. Aw yea piggyback ride ]

I've taught you way more than I should have. [He doesn't look to see if anyone is in the common room, sauntering out with Dirk nuzzling against his back.

He gives no fucks.] Oh well. Guess that's yolo.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

the The Sorting Hat's a Liar meme!

Bro Strider | SLYTHERIN FUCK YEAH.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject